Uncanny Valley

I’m not sure why I felt the need to visit here. Maybe it’s some sort of non-native San Francisco pride. I think it has more to do with seeing The Cat’s Meow and realising what a kook William Randolph Hearst, Sr. was. I figured (turns out correctly) that this would be a bit of trouble to track down.

I actually had to go here twice because the first time I wrote the directions down wrong and ended up going around and around the cemetery. There’s a road that is like a Celtic cross here, and it’s not as fun to drive in as you may think. The mausoleum is unmarked, and surprisingly not the most grandiloquent on the cemetery. It is in the corner of section H (as in Hearst), near sections D and E.

When I was lost, I went across the road to the office, and got a map and asked for the plot information. Usually this is no big deal, but the receptionist had no idea who Hearst was, and requested a year of death (I had to guess, but it’s 1951). Oh well. She’d needed someone else to get the data in any event. So the supervisor comes out, and kindly tells me that the location can’t be given out. Thankfully, the internet pulls through. And so to keep you from any excitement like that, I have revealed all in this article. So now you won’t go, even though you know how to get there, and Hearst wins again!

The Cypress Lawn cemetery straddles El Camino Real, and Hearst and his kin are in the part on the Northeast of the road. You’ll know you’re on the right side because you’ll go through a large stone arch by a duck pond. Say hi to the duckies for me.

Yes, that picture was take at night, and a misty one. It looks much better in the day.

This odd contraption is a national historic building, number 01000522. It is something of a gussied up pinhole camera, which offers a rotating view of the beach, the Seal Rocks, and even a bit of the Sutro Baths. It located right behind the Cliff House.

People often ask the owners of this place, why should someone pay to go inside and see the view that anyone can see for free outside. Then many of these people put money in those tourist telescope things. Well, I for one took the plunge and was glad for it. The picture is like you can almost touch it. It really puts a new perspective on things. This was also just after taking long looks at the ocean from outside, so I think this is well worth it.

There also are a few holograms here. They are nice, but I rather would spend time looking at the camera image than the holograms.

I am livid about this place. I just heard about it a month ago, and was super-excited to check it out. I went to the Pulgas Water Temple, which is supposedly not nearly as cool, and that was cool, so i was amped up to see the one in Sunol. I planned a whole day off around a visit, due to the draconian hours. But apparently they had MLK day off too. Riddle me this though: Why is this only open on weekdays, and at times when one can’t even skip out of work early to visit? It seems like they only want the terrorists who can take a day off or don’t have jobs to get access, and not normal people. This above and beyond the security cameras and so forth all around. Apparently those won’t foil terrorists on weekends and holidays.

Course if I were a terrorist, I’d just go for the unprotected reservoirs all around and not the temple which would have too many dog walkers to leave me in peace. But that’s just me. It’s not even like anyone can get here from public transportation. Heck, most people don’t even know this place exists. I told you it took me years to learn about it, and even when I told the chatty server at the vegan Japanese restaurant that we we’re going to the water temple he assumed it was the one on the peninsula: He didn’t even know about the one way out in Sunol. I don’t think many people even know where Sunol is either.

I’m also peeved at Save Our Sunol, who’s big agenda after getting the place reopened (thanks for that much atleast) is to stop a quarry from being built next door. Now I’m sure that will be an eyesore, but you know what ruins my panoramic view? These huge bars and fences in the way. Sure wish I had a nice water temple to look at. That would be way cool.

So this is in the ‘defunct’ section because it is dead to me. I know maybe three people can get to see this place, but until normal people can,it’s dead to me. Sorry Sunol.

A company called ESL, now TRW Turntable, wanted to test different antenna types mounted on the bottom of a plane. So they made an antenna shaped like an RC-12 Guardrail plane, and to avoid reflections of the signal off the ground, mounted it upside down. I’m not sure what TRW nor ESL stand for, so if you can de-acronym then let me know.

Both Morrison Canyon Road and Vargas Road are one-lane. No, not one-lane each way, just one lane. So drive carefully, especially on Morrison Canyon Road, which for much of it lacks a shoulder and has dog-walkers and joggers on the road.

It should be noted that TRW Turntable is listed as a security guard and patrol service in the yellow pages. And while many people have had altercations with security guards here, we did not. I was parked for about 5 minutes in broad daylight and taking pictures. Some of the people who have had problems came at night and tried to be sneaky, so perhaps the best course is not hiding, or atleast no climbing the fences and/or tower.

Also note that TRW Turntable lists it’s address as 3001 Morrison Canyon Road, but on Google Maps there is nothing there and it is on the wrong side of the road. When I visited, the ranch directly across the road from the antenna was labeled 2554 on the mail post, so I think 3001 is right and Google is wrong, so use the latitude and longitude or try 3300.

As a total tangent, ESL’s Sunnyvale branch was on 1988 the location of a shooting rampage by Richard Wade Farley, who is currently on death row. This event was portrayed in the 1993 film I Can Make You Love Me and a chapter of Chinese Playground: A Memoir

This bulb has been burning continuously since 1901, except briefly when it was moved to the new firehouse. It is a big record holder, and there are many of the awards present underneath the bulb.

It is only a 4 watt bulb, meant to help the firefighters put their coat and pants on at night. There was a spare bulb bought in 1901, and it has only been used in photo ops.

The bulb is in firehouse #6, and if there are firefighters awake they will show it (they have 3 shifts) but you’ll have best luck during normal business hours. Be sure and sign the guidebook.

Here is a “Bulb cam” if you can’t make it here.

This place bills itself as “San Francisco’s Newest Attraction,” which may be so as I hadn’t really known about it until happening to stop by. I don’t spend a lot of time in the wharf, as it is a bit of a tourist trap. I also likewise ignored the old Boudin store, as it was mainly geared towards tourists as well. Don’t get me wrong, I love their bread, but there’s just something about seeing it used as a soup bowl that deters me.

So, this has a large bread bakery and gift shop as one may expect. They also have a restaurant with pizza and stuff. Still not amazing, despite having the bread on aerial conveyor baskets from the bakery to the counter. They also have a big window on the street that allows you to see the bakers at work, and they have headphones that you can ask them bread-related questions. I’m not sure what questions you may have about bread, but there you go. What I liked though was the museum, which goes above the bakery part and allows a better view than the window. They also have tasting, which is always a plus. I also liked the display of SF food inventions, like the fortune cookie, martini, and of course sourdough.

Even if you don’t go on the museum tour, the place is worth a stop by now. Even with all the additions, I feel like they are less of a tourist trap now and more of a real destination.

After the 1989 Loma-Prieta earthquake, a pod of California Sea Lions (Zalophus californianus) decided to move to K-dock, right next to the tour trap that is Pier 39. After several attempts to encourage the pod to move on failed, they were allowed to stay and became something of a tourist attraction. In the decade and a half since, the population has grown, feeding off the herring and other animals in the Bay. Occasionally, related species like harbor seals (Phoca vitulina)and Steller Sea Lions (Eumetopias jubatus) can be seen on the floating docks as well.

The animals coexist well at the busy pier. Since they have been given K-dock as their own space, humans have relatively undisturbed access off the rest of the nearby docks. The sea lions are also nonplussed by the noisy crowds of tourists a few meters away on the main pier. Course if I weighed up to 450 kilograms and could deliver a nasty bite if need be, I wouldn’t be too bothered by the humans either.

A bit of care is given from the Marine Mammal Center (MMC), which has an education office on the pier. They take care of any sick or injured Sea Lions (or other related mammals) and hose down the docks every week to keep the smell down.

Here’s a sound clip of the Sea Lions. If you need more you can check out the webcam.

A bit of quirky San Francisco. Or rather, a quirky San Franciscan named David Johnson. He can usually be found in the Wharf, behind a poorly-constructed ‘bush.’ When a muggle walks by, he will appear and shout, startling the muggle. This despite an inevitably large crowd gathered to watch people get scared. Which I think is even more funny. Even funnier is that some people get scared repeatedly, despite the Bushman always being in pretty much the same place.

Apparently some people think that someone shouting “ooga booga” is criminal and the Bushman has been given hundreds of tickets and been in court a number of times. I think this is retarded, in that sort of way that mentally-handicapped people would call retarded. Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks the Bushman is not a criminal, and many of the citations have been dismissed and he is still there performing almost every day, after about 25 years. Apparently though the Bushman employs a bodyguard in case there is an altercation. He should be the only one on that side of the street (most voyeurs are across the street to not interfere with the show).

I also hear rumours of an ‘anti-Bushman’ who is an imitator who stole the real Bushman’s bit. I don’t have any substantiation for this though.

Here is a sound clip of a typical encounter.

Back in the day when a large public works project was undergone, people expected it to look nice afterwards. People still do in pockets like New Mexico, but in many places Bauhaus has taken over. Fortunately some places like this survive, and remind us how things don’t have to look good, but they should.

This is one of two water temples, the other one in Sunol rumoured to be the more beauteous of the two. This one has slightly less-restrictive hours of access, with just the parking lot and not the whole place being closed on weekends. Supposedly parking on the road is a no-no, but I wasn’t hassled and I wasn’t the only one. On certain Sundays, the road is closed to cars, so you’d have to walk 3.5 km extra then.

The red tape here is annoying. My theory is that it’s some misguided 911 paranoia. Especially since drinking water does not go through here anymore, since the plant was built across the road. Still, I suppose I should be grateful somewhat as the temple was entirely inaccessible to the public until 25 October 2004. Baby steps, I guess.

What else can I say about this place but that it’s pretty and peaceful? I did see a small herd of Mule deer outside the fence, a few of which motionlessly kept watch of my progress to the portable toilets.

Joseph Paul DiMaggio died in Florida, and played for New York. How is he in Northern California? Well, this is where is family plot is, and he was married (the first time) in San Francisco.

The memorial was not hard to find. From the road, it is off the second rotary, right in from of it’s own parking spot. You’ll have to drive almost all the way around the rotary to see it. It’s in Section I, Row 11, Area 6/7. There is a map posted on a sign near the entrance, but it only shows the main sections.

The inscription reads:
JOSEPH PAUL
DiMAGGIO
NOVEMBER 25, 1914
MARCH 8, 1999
GRACE, DIGNITY AND
ELEGANCE PERSONIFIED